Street Crime Satire Enthusiast Gifts

Gun Crime.

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

Petty Aero Larceny - I Stealing a Dinner.

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

Walk, Don't Walk, Laugh.

"Do you want to order a contract killing, Don Carlos, or a pay-as-you-go killing?"

"It was passed from my grandfather to my father, from my father to me, and now from me to you. Twenty bucks."

"You mean to say, Mr. 'Smiles,' that someone else left the scene wearing size 22 shoes?"

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

'I really think you should check your pools, sir.'

Mafia machine gun case.

'First off, your average Paolozzi has far fewer holes than your Moore.'

Money Launderette

'And what do you do?'

Okay, knock it off. I'm not falling for the old "good fish, bad fish" routine.

'I don;t see how that's going to work?'

"Goddam Dogs."

Prison Vacation For Mafiosi

Incriminating Evidence Against the Cat Burglar.

My guys will loot, Bjorn's guys will pillage and your guys will make it all legal.

'Hello, Sir. Are you answering this call on a hands-free mobile?' 'Em...'

Smelly mugger unfazed by victims CS Gas

'Armed robbery, eh? I'm in for being out of compliance with a Federal guideline

"Did any of these guys sell you the acid?"

'Whoever said 'dressed to kill' hasn't seen your average murderer.'

"He's currently unavailable. Would you care to wait?"

How ghastly! He's holding his knife like a pen!

'I always thought wine came from half-empty bottles left in the park.'

"Just pick out the one who ate your husband."

Walk/Don't Walk/Laugh

"Try to be patient, sir. Give your stick-up text a few seconds to upload."

"Of course we have evidence. The whole thing was captured on video."

Murder Village - Bursts of street fighting every half hour

"It's a HO.. HO.. HOLD-UP!"