Street Humor Enthusiast Gifts

Walk/Don't Walk/Laugh

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

Don't walk. Stay.

'Man, I'm so hungry I think I could give my torso for a hot dog.'

Walk, Don't Walk, Laugh.

Shoes shined/heads shined.

'What if I am blocking the doorway...It's my shop!'

"Great! When will this festival be?"

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

A dog on the sidewalk has a 'walk me' sign, begging for a walk.

Sculptor explaining to tourist in Trafalgar Square that sculpture of pigeon is called 'Retribution - it actually doubles as a giant privy!'

"Do you think those clams we ate were a little off?"

'You got much on at the moment?'; 'No, nothing really.' (Naked man)

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

"You know, crime doesn't pay... at least at your level."

"Shrinkage /ˈSHriNGkij/ noun: 1. the contraction of an object when cooled, 2. the 'Naked Cowboy' in Times Square on a really cold day."

"May I recommend the pumpkin seeds to starts?"

"Call a veterinary, chief. I think he's got a kidney infection..."

"Goddam Dogs."

Cook complaining to milkman

"The best way of dispersing crowds in the inner city is to start handing out job applications!"

Chugger

'I always thought wine came from half-empty bottles left in the park.'

"It gets a lot of refracted light."

Laugh and the World Laughs with You, but Not on the I.R.T.

"So we're agreed. You get everything south of 59th. We get the rest. Capice?"

Beggar with a sign that reads 'Need a rare 1905 Buffalo nickel to complete my collection- thanks!'

Puppetteer ?

"This parking space ain’t big enough for the two of us."

Sign on sidewalk: 'Please direct your feet to the sunny side of the street...'

'It's Darwin's only chance to practice when he's in the city.'

"Great, but where are they going to get the money to pay for them?"

'When do I learn to elude the cops?'