Street Humorist Gifts

"This parking space ain’t big enough for the two of us."

Nude pedestrians.

No parking between signs.....

Boys watch a bill sticker

Drunk at a loading zone.

Pot hole.

"The light is green..."

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

"What other tricks does he need?"

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

A dog on the sidewalk has a 'walk me' sign, begging for a walk.

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

Magic Act

"Drinking improves my vodkabulary."

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

Mo's USA Bar: Tips/Tariffs

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

'Of all the fern bars in Encino, she's gotta walk into mine.'

'I didn't have time to cut the lawn, so I used your credit card to have it carpeted. Do you like the cool color I picked out?'

"Do you think those clams we ate were a little off?"

Walk, Don't Walk, Laugh.

"You know, crime doesn't pay... at least at your level."

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

'What happened to the guy with the harmonica?'

'You got much on at the moment?'; 'No, nothing really.' (Naked man)

"Would you please sip your drink and not swill it!"

"Fetch and roll over weren't enough-then they sent me to philosophy classes."

'Do you know the Lincolnshire poacher?'

"Your rose dust gets into everything, and your caladiums attract toads; and another thing: your damn marigolds are stinking up the whole area."

"It's been a rainy winter."