Street Humorist Gifts

"This parking space ain’t big enough for the two of us."

Nude pedestrians.

No parking between signs.....

Boys watch a bill sticker

Drunk at a loading zone.

Pot hole.

"The light is green..."

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"What other tricks does he need?"

A dog on the sidewalk has a 'walk me' sign, begging for a walk.

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

"Drinking improves my vodkabulary."

Magic Act

Mo's USA Bar: Tips/Tariffs

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

'Of all the fern bars in Encino, she's gotta walk into mine.'

'I didn't have time to cut the lawn, so I used your credit card to have it carpeted. Do you like the cool color I picked out?'

"Do you think those clams we ate were a little off?"

"Would you please sip your drink and not swill it!"

Walk, Don't Walk, Laugh.

'You got much on at the moment?'; 'No, nothing really.' (Naked man)

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

'What happened to the guy with the harmonica?'

"You know, crime doesn't pay... at least at your level."

"Fetch and roll over weren't enough-then they sent me to philosophy classes."

"No thanks, just the peanuts."

'That's right. Ploughman's lunch; Egg, beans and sausage. It's what he orders every time he comes in here.'

'I'd like a brandy please...'