Street Humor Gifts

'Careful, Bob, this guy goes straight for the nuts!'

A Boy Seeks Counsel's Opinion.

'Send help! I'm caught in a pickle between first and second!'

Shoes shined/heads shined.

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

A dog on the sidewalk has a 'walk me' sign, begging for a walk.

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

Actual Extent Of Doug's Off - Road Adventures (Touching the kerb)

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

Sculptor explaining to tourist in Trafalgar Square that sculpture of pigeon is called 'Retribution - it actually doubles as a giant privy!'

"Do you think those clams we ate were a little off?"

'You got much on at the moment?'; 'No, nothing really.' (Naked man)

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

How much for the lamp post?

Walk, Don't Walk, Laugh.

"You know, crime doesn't pay... at least at your level."

"May I recommend the pumpkin seeds to starts?"

"The worst mimes are those who pretend to wash your windshield, yet expect to get paid."

"Call a veterinary, chief. I think he's got a kidney infection..."

"The best way of dispersing crowds in the inner city is to start handing out job applications!"

Cook complaining to milkman

"Goddam Dogs."

"This parking space ain’t big enough for the two of us."

Chugger

First came Squeegee kids. Now come the Vacuume kids.

"It gets a lot of refracted light."

'I always thought wine came from half-empty bottles left in the park.'

Laugh and the World Laughs with You, but Not on the I.R.T.

Sign on sidewalk: 'Please direct your feet to the sunny side of the street...'

Plane annoys penthouse apartment.

Walk/Don't Walk/Laugh

'It's Darwin's only chance to practice when he's in the city.'

'When do I learn to elude the cops?'

Refresh Instagram your way to success