Street Humor Gifts

'Careful, Bob, this guy goes straight for the nuts!'

A Boy Seeks Counsel's Opinion.

'Send help! I'm caught in a pickle between first and second!'

Shoes shined/heads shined.

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

A dog on the sidewalk has a 'walk me' sign, begging for a walk.

Actual Extent Of Doug's Off - Road Adventures (Touching the kerb)

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

Sculptor explaining to tourist in Trafalgar Square that sculpture of pigeon is called 'Retribution - it actually doubles as a giant privy!'

"Do you think those clams we ate were a little off?"

How much for the lamp post?

"You know, crime doesn't pay... at least at your level."

Walk, Don't Walk, Laugh.

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

'You got much on at the moment?'; 'No, nothing really.' (Naked man)

"May I recommend the pumpkin seeds to starts?"

"The best way of dispersing crowds in the inner city is to start handing out job applications!"

"Goddam Dogs."

Cook complaining to milkman

"The worst mimes are those who pretend to wash your windshield, yet expect to get paid."

"Call a veterinary, chief. I think he's got a kidney infection..."

"It gets a lot of refracted light."

"This parking space ain’t big enough for the two of us."

First came Squeegee kids. Now come the Vacuume kids.

'I always thought wine came from half-empty bottles left in the park.'

Laugh and the World Laughs with You, but Not on the I.R.T.

Chugger

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Gets A Job

Plane annoys penthouse apartment.

Sign on sidewalk: 'Please direct your feet to the sunny side of the street...'

'It's Darwin's only chance to practice when he's in the city.'

Walk/Don't Walk/Laugh

'When do I learn to elude the cops?'