Street Crime Gifts

Slammer on the Spot

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

Wok. Don't Wok.

The Elliot Ness monster.

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"I feel like bad guys aren't as scared of me in the summer."

Dog Crossing

'What's wrong with those Europeans? We have more murders in this city than England, France Germany and Spain combined.'

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

"Don't you think you're taking this whole, 'neighbourhood watch' thing a little too serious, dear?"

"Better luck next time, kid."

"You dropped yer wallet."

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

Violent Crime Statistics

Mobsters at the Beach

The evidence destroyed

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

'Sure, we pay them for protection but there are unexpected bonuses: nobody can tenderise veel like Luigi or slice beef as fine as Vinny.'

Teacher has two boxes: "Book Smart" and "Street Smart"

Mime walking dog passes some invisible dog poop.

'If anybody here knows why these two should not be wed...'

Just our luck...old school crime translation classes!

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

'I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go, Richter. The crime rate has dropped.'

Guy on stilts watching a balloon dog lift its leg on his stilts. Balloon animal maker watching on.

'Mark Antony addreses the mob'

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

'It's the same EVERY year... 5 minutes to midnight; victims are all male, and they're carrying large sums of money.'