Street Safety Gifts

Dog Crossing

Zebra Crossing

'Damn cyclists never stop at red lights.'

Beware of pickpockets.

Watch for Children.

BEEN MUGGED - PLEASE PASS

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

Please Drove Carefully.

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

Man using to much bug spray

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

On the brink.

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

Touring Cyclist

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

"Why don't you start with tennis balls?!"

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

"I've had it with the helmet mandates."

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'