Vehicle Safety Gifts

'That's hydroplaning for ya.'

'No, it only has a driver-side airbag.'

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

Please Drove Carefully.

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

Touring Cyclist

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

'Your Grounded!'

Caution: ironic literal proverb ahead (fork in the road)

"Seriously Dad, it totally wasn't my fault."

Computer Controlled Car

Bedroom Traffic Control

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

One Way - Yield

Nice park. . .

"I have to wear a bike helmet all the time after Mommie heard cars kill more pedestrians than cyclists!"

"Slide, Howie!!! Slide!"

Driver sees road sign: 'Right Lane Doomed'

"Being a crossing guard for a squirrel is exhausting!"

Knights Wing Mirrors.

Billgeville's new pedestrian monkey bars not only reduced accidents but also whipped people into great shape.

'Squint your eyes and grit your teeth so I can make sure it's you.'

Merlin realizes too late that he shouldn't be hexing while driving.

"I've seen this before. Keep his head inside the car when the vehicle is in motion."

a crash-test dummy is performing some affirmations before going to work

'The new intelligent dummies aren't working out. They've figured out there's a break!'

Lane restricted to cars with three or more persons at least one of whom is a woman or visible minority.

"Why'd the chicken cross the road?"

Attention: Speed Troughs

'Mom's always telling me to look both ways, don't talk to strangers, and change my passwords.'

'I don't like being a crash dummy either but there are some jobs humans won't do.'