Auto Safety Gifts

'With this velcro seat, I save a bundle on seatbelts.'

'Do you think the car pool manager will notice ?'

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

Please Drove Carefully.

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

Touring Cyclist

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

'That's hydroplaning for ya.'

'Your Grounded!'

Caution: ironic literal proverb ahead (fork in the road)

"Seriously Dad, it totally wasn't my fault."

Computer Controlled Car

Bedroom Traffic Control

"I have to wear a bike helmet all the time after Mommie heard cars kill more pedestrians than cyclists!"

'What the … ? How did those thugs get into my car?'

Knights Wing Mirrors.

One Way - Yield

"Being a crossing guard for a squirrel is exhausting!"

a crash-test dummy is performing some affirmations before going to work

"Why'd the chicken cross the road?"

Lane restricted to cars with three or more persons at least one of whom is a woman or visible minority.

"I've seen this before. Keep his head inside the car when the vehicle is in motion."

Attention: Speed Troughs

'The new intelligent dummies aren't working out. They've figured out there's a break!'

'Mom's always telling me to look both ways, don't talk to strangers, and change my passwords.'

"It's redesigned to handle rolling over."

Vehicles waiting at a crossing for a tradesman's spirit level to pass.

Deer crossing the road on a Skidoo.

"It helps prevent side collisions."

'Things are going from bad to worse in the auto industry.'

"Ma'am, do you know how well you were driving?"

Big bumpers.