Crime Fighting Gifts

The Trials and Tribulations of Superheroes.

Gullboy and Pigeonman

"I feel like bad guys aren't as scared of me in the summer."

"It occurred to me that there's no rule against having mutant telekinetic powers and pepper spray."

"Oh, no! It's Batman, and Batman's lawyer!"

Looks like another job for Head-On-A-Platter Man!

'Great! Our client will be expecting you between the 13th and 14th floor!'

Security Bards.

'Finished your beat already, Mackay?!' 'Aye, Sarge. We found a short cut.'

'All I can say, is sometimes it's handy being able to run faster than a speeding bullet!'

"I'm a superhero for the benefit of mankind. It's my day job in a call centre that pays the bills."

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

'What's wrong with those Europeans? We have more murders in this city than England, France Germany and Spain combined.'

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

"Don't you think you're taking this whole, 'neighbourhood watch' thing a little too serious, dear?"

Slow Night

"I worked hard, I played hard and I embezzled hard."

Violent Crime Statistics

'I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go, Richter. The crime rate has dropped.'

'If you'll excuse me, my car is on fire.'

"I do love you, but I love you as a crimefighter."

'By the looks of these skid marks, Humpty didn't fall- he was pushed!'

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

"Brutus! Attack with reasonable force!"

'Oh no! They've been pinched.'

"You can lie to the prosecutor but don't ever lie to your co-conspirators."

With his mothers persuasion, Joe decided to 'come clean' to the police!

"Looks like he's been salted, Sarge.2

"We can't put you in a Witness-Protection Program unless you actually witnessed something."

Black market trade in foodstuffs is thriving.

"And what do you see in this inkblot?"