Crime Fighting Gifts

The Trials and Tribulations of Superheroes.

Gullboy and Pigeonman

"I feel like bad guys aren't as scared of me in the summer."

"It occurred to me that there's no rule against having mutant telekinetic powers and pepper spray."

"Oh, no! It's Batman, and Batman's lawyer!"

Looks like another job for Head-On-A-Platter Man!

The Termite

The Lavender Dot - Part Five

'Great! Our client will be expecting you between the 13th and 14th floor!'

Security Bards.

'Finished your beat already, Mackay?!' 'Aye, Sarge. We found a short cut.'

'All I can say, is sometimes it's handy being able to run faster than a speeding bullet!'

"I'm a superhero for the benefit of mankind. It's my day job in a call centre that pays the bills."

"No, I'm not gay!"

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

Mayhem, Inc. Part 29

'What's wrong with those Europeans? We have more murders in this city than England, France Germany and Spain combined.'

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

"Don't you think you're taking this whole, 'neighbourhood watch' thing a little too serious, dear?"

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

Slow Night

Violent Crime Statistics

"I worked hard, I played hard and I embezzled hard."

'I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go, Richter. The crime rate has dropped.'

'If you'll excuse me, my car is on fire.'

Phone. Oh, no! My Clark Kent clothes are gone! Secret Identity Theft.

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

'By the looks of these skid marks, Humpty didn't fall- he was pushed!'

"I do love you, but I love you as a crimefighter."

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

"Brutus! Attack with reasonable force!"

'Oh no! They've been pinched.'

"We can't put you in a Witness-Protection Program unless you actually witnessed something."