Strauss Enthusiast Gifts

Clock

"I did the math. If we want to read all of Proust in this lifetime, we have to start tomorrow morning."

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

Pope Benedict 16th.

"I had guys chase my tail, then one day I thought, hey, dummy, get rid of the middlemen and chase your own tail!"

A Scottish Terrier playing bagpipes wins the dog show.

"George is going for the Guinness World Record for just sitting."

Billy was conflicted and confused.

'...the next train arriving at platform one is the 10.45 fast service to orgasm central!'

'You seem to be suffering from frontier mentality...'

'What exactly is 'Haggis'?'

William Wallace.

William Wallace over-applies the talcum powder before battle.

'It wasn't like this when I left it!'

"This is the life eh.?"

Marcel Proust.

'This spider's persistence is remarkable - that's web 9.0.'

Alex Salmond: Bannockburn.

In The Spring, A Young Man's Thoughts Turn Fancy

'Go through laddie. Only a true Scotsman disnae wear anything under his Kilt.'

"Boy, that Isaac Newton is one smart cookie!"

Franz Liszt

"What makes you think I have buck fever?"

'Dr Seuss is awarded a PHD.'

Albert Einstein

Marcel Proust

Happy Burn's Night!

"I felt the Earth Move!"

''Stiff shaft', 'long and straight', 'up and in'...I thought you were talking about sex!'

Man in kilt with a balloon.

'I take it then that levelling the Balkans first is not an option?'

Scottish Independence Vote.

Let's play hide-the-sausage!

Och aye the noo!