Crusades Enthusiast Gifts

'It wasn't like this when I left it!'

Face painting by numbers.

"Say! While I'm off in the Holy Land, why don't you find a little crusade of some kind that interests you?"

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

Our super-heroes bravely battling a brutally blustery day!

Pope Benedict 16th.

"My goodness, no! Grandfather would never, ever let us near this!!"

"You don't have anything planned for the next 196 years, do you?"

"Miles... I'm going abstract!"

'Nobody does curses like Gordon Ramsay.'

'Look out, it's a double edged sword. . .'

'Notice how the TV goes dim when we stop pedalling!'

'Well, I'm off to the crusades, happy mother's day!'

"Meet JD Salinger's neighbors"

"A message from your terrible foe in the holy lands - she's pregnant!"

"Why did you become a crusader? You don't even go to church."

'I don't think Ed wants to make the crusades come alive for the kids. I think Ed is afraid of the kids.'

'On your way back from the Holy Land, can you stop at Paris and pick up some creme brulee?'

Gladstone and Argyll 'Crusade' against Armenian Attrocities

"I don't object to their right to roam, I just wish they would wipe their feet."

"Apparently, this curse has a lot more going for it than we figured."

'Everybody, please welcome Moose and Rocco to the team. They're our new revenue enhancement and collections specialists.'

"That's the trouble with crusades, they always drag religion into it!"

'I take it then that levelling the Balkans first is not an option?'

Richard I of England

"Oh for gosh sake, Richard! It's a couple of mice in the basement stealing grain. Quit making a crusade out of everything!"

Corona and the Arts

After the Ottomans are Weakened, Sultan Muhammad II Drives His Horse Into the Sea (History of the Crusades).

Window calls for username and swearword.

Our drivers are safe, courteous and professional. Want to make something of it?

'Sorry about that. My dog got a hold of my voodoo doll.'