Crusade Connoisseur Gifts

"A message from your terrible foe in the holy lands - she's pregnant!"

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

Curling your hair for no reason

"Say! While I'm off in the Holy Land, why don't you find a little crusade of some kind that interests you?"

'Billy! Set your homework aside and get down here. There's another basketball recruiter here to see you.'

Pope Benedict 16th.

A Gated Community.

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

"You don't have anything planned for the next 196 years, do you?"

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

Spot the Higgs Boson competition

"Hey dude, when I said curls might help, that's not what I meant."

Big deal! If you were smart, you'd have waited for the price of gold to go up. Everyone's a critic.

'Well, so much for laughter being the best medicine.'

"Bobby, you may have worked for a circus but that's not an excuse for playing with your food!"

NBA on strike.

'It wasn't like this when I left it!'

'Well, I'm off to the crusades, happy mother's day!'

Now Showing: "Mucky Wucky" Rated Z. That means Roger Ebert slept through it.

'I don't think Ed wants to make the crusades come alive for the kids. I think Ed is afraid of the kids.'

"Why did you become a crusader? You don't even go to church."

Gladstone and Argyll 'Crusade' against Armenian Attrocities

Robinson le Creusot

Fashion world.

Ginger Breadman

Anthony Kennedy

'Isn't life simple when you know you're right all the time.'

'I take it then that levelling the Balkans first is not an option?'

Richard I of England

"It all began with wanting matching shoes and purse..."

"Oh for gosh sake, Richard! It's a couple of mice in the basement stealing grain. Quit making a crusade out of everything!"

Highlights of the week!

"Sometimes, I feel like life is passing me by."

Stern looking woman sitting at a service window labeled "Complaints".

"He's not much at tennis, but pretty good at jumping the net."