Crusade Enthusiast Gifts

"Oh for gosh sake, Richard! It's a couple of mice in the basement stealing grain. Quit making a crusade out of everything!"

"It's great because he gets to pursue his passion for crusading and I get the whole bed to myself."

'I take it then that levelling the Balkans first is not an option?'

Pope Benedict 16th.

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

"It started as a crusade. Now it's just a commute."

"Say! While I'm off in the Holy Land, why don't you find a little crusade of some kind that interests you?"

"My goodness, no! Grandfather would never, ever let us near this!!"

"You don't have anything planned for the next 196 years, do you?"

"Miles... I'm going abstract!"

'Nobody does curses like Gordon Ramsay.'

'Look out, it's a double edged sword. . .'

"I'm bored: Let's go and swoop over cyclists' heads and scare the heck out of them..."

'It wasn't like this when I left it!'

"A message from your terrible foe in the holy lands - she's pregnant!"

'Notice how the TV goes dim when we stop pedalling!'

'Well, I'm off to the crusades, happy mother's day!'

"Meet JD Salinger's neighbors"

"Why did you become a crusader? You don't even go to church."

'I don't think Ed wants to make the crusades come alive for the kids. I think Ed is afraid of the kids.'

'On your way back from the Holy Land, can you stop at Paris and pick up some creme brulee?'

Gladstone and Argyll 'Crusade' against Armenian Attrocities

"I don't object to their right to roam, I just wish they would wipe their feet."

Bikes versus Cars

A housewife is looking at her dishwasher; the door is open, and looks like a drawbridge - men on horseback are emerging.

"That's the trouble with crusades, they always drag religion into it!"

"Apparently, this curse has a lot more going for it than we figured."

Richard I of England

Window calls for username and swearword.

Corona and the Arts

After the Ottomans are Weakened, Sultan Muhammad II Drives His Horse Into the Sea (History of the Crusades).

Our drivers are safe, courteous and professional. Want to make something of it?

'Sorry about that. My dog got a hold of my voodoo doll.'

'I wish you had planned your retirement more carefully.'

Rainbow Skier