Progress Enthusiast Gifts

"A few years ago nobody even used 'female' and 'athlete' in the same sentence."

'Funny - you finish building one power station, and a few hours later, you feel like building another...'

'This is the result of a legacy of underinvestment.'

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

Packaging Russian Dolls

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

Go! Means NOW!

The Ascent of Woman

My new laptop is nicer than your new laptop. I'm not going to get into a competition about whose new laptop is nicer. The one I replaced is nicer than the one you replaced. Stop it.

"Some day, son, all this will be yours. ... Actually, you know what? You can have it now."

Motivation to work

"Gosh, I can't believe it's been over 25 years since our company was dragged, kicking and screaming, into the digital age!"

"Hello - I'm from the future..."

Man feeding his computer money.

"We come from the future and just want to say: Hey, thanks for the planet!"

"I think that was one upgrade to many for Chris!"

"It's a mixed-use facility: retail space, low-rent housing, luxury apartments, and an area set aside for making steel."

"My father was a Brexit negotiator and his father before him..."

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

Businessman with two boxes: 'Innovate' and 'Out of Date'

'Can't you forget you were an art teacher?'

They say animals have the sixth sense and the talent to look into the future...

The Robotics Department. It says here that these guys completely replace all the cells in their bodies every seven years! Wow! What a slow upgrade cycle! If we don't replace all our parts every six months we become obsolete! It makes you wonder why they're in charge! Yeah, like they expect us to remember thousands of gigabytes of data while they forget their passwords! (Published originally on April 19, 2006)

"I know I'm going to get older - but how much?"

'I can't say what the market's going to do, but you're going to have fourteen children.'

U.S. Manufacturing - Good News & Bad News

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

'Once we switch to information processing, just imagine how much data this baby will handle.'

"I see you naked. A beautiful young woman is leaning over you... Oh, hang on. She's performing your autopsy."

"Sure, but what have you invented lately?"

"Our 'Invest in American' program is saving money by buying orange safety cones from China."

"Good news, sir – your carry-on has been upgraded to business class."

Taking to the sky...