Progress Gifts

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

Cavewoman fantasy

"Sure, but what have you invented lately?"

"Ambitions. . . To get a mobile phone."

"Well you know how it is, you've got to keep moving or die."

Technological Advances

"Just think, next year I'll be in fourth grade. I'm really going to miss the third grade...but going to the fourth grade is a wise career move for me."

"Gosh, I can't believe it's been over 25 years since our company was dragged, kicking and screaming, into the digital age!"

Butterfly Woman

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

'Wow! I never thought it would actually WORK!'

Bullseye!

"And finally, I’d like to thank all those people I stepped on and used to get here. I couldn’t have done it without your submissive insecurity and relentless resignation."

Boom

Breakthrough

"I didn't really start applying myself seriously until around the eighth life."

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

Jumping Man

'I became successful when my dreams changed from the Cary Grants of the world to federal grants.'

Bureau to cut back on bureaucratic paperwork...

'I imagine you'd like to hear about my progress...'

Businessman with two boxes: 'Innovate' and 'Out of Date'

Progress?

"What's with kids nowadays? Walking upright's not good enough for you?"

"I know by outward standard I'm successful, but a voice inside my head keeps saying, 'Where's your private plane?"

"I'm pretty sure it was rising to the top and not having to answer to anyone that cured me of my habit of muttering under my breath."

Successful sales people are avid goal setters...

'Shouldn't you be somewhere clawing yourself to the top, or something?'

'Some executives have within them the seeds of greatness. Others are just seedy.'

Ant holds up the word 'TRIUMPH'.

'Wow! no doubt about it son!...You'll grow up to be President of the United States!'

"Well, for starters, Matt has been showing definite improvement in risk-taking."

'Though we must innovate, and though we must grow, we must never lose sight of our core mediocrities.'