Progress Pioneers Gifts

"Gosh, I can't believe it's been over 25 years since our company was dragged, kicking and screaming, into the digital age!"

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

The Ascent of Woman

Are you the guy who ate my brother?

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

"....Reception on my tablet is so much better since I added wifi to my mule..."

Businessman with two boxes: 'Innovate' and 'Out of Date'

"What's with kids nowadays? Walking upright's not good enough for you?"

"Sure, but what have you invented lately?"

'I can't help thinking there's something else we can do with this.'

"Well, for starters, Matt has been showing definite improvement in risk-taking."

'Though we must innovate, and though we must grow, we must never lose sight of our core mediocrities.'

'What's the use? Everyone has his own PC future-probability program these days.'

Dorothy finds the Yellow brick road is now a 6-lane expressway.

Pasteur and those who came before him and failed.

'It hasn't been a complete failure - we've learned volumes about falling.'

Clancy: Around here we call that progress!

"I see our neighbors are moving south!"

'Our new neighbor an urban farmer.'

For centuries we have stared down at them in awe, but with this new invention, we will finally be able to harness the awesome power of walking.

"Have they no shame?"

Beginner Level Escalators

"I'm on the range, but I'm not home on the range."

Technological Advances

'Are you sure we want to evolve? Remember what happened last time.'

Progress

When this is buildings we can say we remember when all this was fields.

'Look at this teenie-weenie chip, Schmidt! Who would have thought that it could replace a great big guy like you!'

"Yeah...I don't think this country's ready to elect a single woman as its president."

"Tell our 'movers and shakers', to lighten up a bit."

"Any New Year's resolutions?" "I'm going to do better." "That's a nice sentiment but a little vague. Without a specific benchmark how'll you know you've met it?" "How'll I know I haven't?" "That's oddly logical." "And achievable."