Virtuoso Enthusiast Gifts

Franz Liszt

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

"Lori, go ahead and toss in 'Lolita.' Now, what's next?" "We'll need more lighter fluid." "'The Lottery' is devils work." "We must protect the children." "Book burning club"

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"Who's next?"

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

"What do you mean blood sucking pest? You're the one who invited me into your life!"

"True, a salary cap on Wall Street may limit the talent pool, but, on the other hand, if they get any more talented we'll all be broke."

'As you can see,we run a completely paperless office.'

One way only.

What happened when the bond issues failed during the building of the Great Wall of China: The Great Picket Fence of China.

World Food Summit - No food and drink allowed in the auditorium.

"Remember that time I let you steer the boat and we crashed and had to swim here to die? Remember?"

"I liked it better when it was 'don't ask, don't tell the New York Times'."

A gorilla plays chess with his keeper.

Ship upsidedown in a bottle has rescue boat in bottle next to it.

"I'm a common dolphin, I swim the west coast of Scotland foraging for fish and squid."

"Caption contest"

"It's my helper trout!"

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

Militant Pacifists

Emergency Disguise at the CIA

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'

"You work for the family business, and I am your father, not the patriarchal oppressor..."

"We did our best for your husband but his poor old health insurance was too weak..."

'Not only can I not find the middle class tax cut, I can't find the middle class.'

Party-Crashing Ban

"I work smart, instead of hard. You do all the work and I take all the credit."

"Cartoonist are harmless? Not at all!! These people have weapons!! Here, see for yourself!"

Gold versus Knowledge

'This is a very dysfunctional company. No one will talk aboaut about the elephant in the boardroom!'

"Alright, fire me. But I'm taking back your "World's Greatest Boss" coffee mug!"