Stranded Survivor Fan Gifts

"No, we're no gods, we're God's gift to women!"

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

"Ticket and passport, please."

Dear Diary, 36 weeks on this island and I'm starting to feel that I'll never get rescued."

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

"Dig deep! C'mon! You got this!"

"It looks like a pitch for a survival-themed reality show."

Castaway harnessing electricity.

"Graveyards always put me ill at ease."

What? I had to fire our flare gun at him before he fired his flare gun at us!

Need tickets.

'Look at the bright side. Think of our mutual funds going up, up, up!'

Artificial intelligence trying to make it on its own.

"What if I told you that everything you knew about slowly going insane on a desert island was wrong?"

'I know you're doing your best, but I'm getting awfully tired of cream of coconut soup.'

No Loitering

'I sure hope you're a marriage counselor.'

One Fine Tuesday in Antarctica

"When you're voted out of "Survivor", I thought they just sent you home!"

That Bear Grylls eats some EVIL crap, I'm telling you!

"For the last time — there is no ‘other woman’!"

"You are so lucky I keep kosher."

"Honestly, I'm as sad as you are that your mother didn't make it."

Notice on desert island - sand for sale

'Only one of you will survive to the end of the series.'

'The good news is the airline was trying to skimp on fuel, and no terrorists were involved.'t

Eskimo in Igloo

Dying man in desert to friend as vultures approach; 'Amazing! I thought they were more or less extinct!'

'The tide goes out along way, doesn't it?'

A football is dropped to a man stranded on desert island

'You're trying to hail a taxi?... Are you insane? You'll never get one at this time of day!'

"Your troubles are nearly over - straight ahead about ten miles."

Snail in desert sees sign for shade trees.

"I've been as good as I can in a zombie apocalypse."

"It's a pity I'm a vegetarian..."