Stranded Survivor Gifts

"I'd say my number-one issue is getting off the island, and then, after that, probably health care."

I wish they'd quit sending my financial statements."

'LAND!'

"I'm sorry, but I believe I'm now way out of your network."

Missed callers on a desert island.

'Look at the bright side. Think of our mutual funds going up, up, up!'

'The tide goes out along way, doesn't it?'

"Okay, this time, go long."

Castaway of the Year

"If we ever get home, dear, I'll never complain about you overcooking the fish."

'No need for that. I owe taxes, they'll find us!'

'Why does it always have to be MY shirt?'

Oh great. They're all females and my equipment only uses males.

'I sure hope you're a marriage counselor.'

'You're trying to hail a taxi?... Are you insane? You'll never get one at this time of day!'

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

"I'm quite certain that's not a squirrel."

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

'Why, I don't exactly know -- how long HAVE we been here, Bobo?'

Emergency Pants

Dave invents the remote belt

'Throw them back They're not what nine out of ten eye doctor's recommend for dry eyes when stranded on a desert island.'

"Try to eat more coconuts and fish."

"I'm starting up a concierge medicine practice. You in?"

Castaway harnessing electricity.

'I've made a radio using coconuts, salt water, and a trout.'

"Oh no, I never replied to Theresa's email! And tomorrow I must call Steve.... What does Yara think of me?"

"Now that we've fermented coconut milk, so we build a boat or a tiki bar?"

'What luck!'

"Your 2 am is here."

"Who would've thought Ms. Marcus had so little sense of humor?"

Welcome centre

A diet high in cholesterol can be dangerous to your health.

Stranded Techie Needs Batteries

"Mr. Crusoe, you have some heft overdue fines."