Newly Stranded Gifts

'Not bad, what about the Christmas Cards?'

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

"I don't know if I can do 'Gilmore Girls' today. I'm not sure I'm feeling up for anything involving witty yet poignant repartee."

'What luck! A sound technician.'

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

Santa Claus delivers present to man stranded on desert island.

Castaway harnessing electricity.

'Look at the bright side. Think of our mutual funds going up, up, up!'

"At least my putting has improved."

'Good morning, Ginger! -- Good morning, Mary Ann!'

'I sure hope you're a marriage counselor.'

'Another one. Do you realize that will make the third time this month we've held a fire drill?'

Notice on desert island - sand for sale

"No, we're no gods, we're God's gift to women!"

'The tide goes out along way, doesn't it?'

'Coconut? -- You seriously expect me to bite on coconut?'

Wi-fi detected on desert island

'You're trying to hail a taxi?... Are you insane? You'll never get one at this time of day!'

'Luckily, my iPod contains a set of 10 songs I'd like to listen to if I were stranded on an island.'

'LAND!'

"I'd say my number-one issue is getting off the island, and then, after that, probably health care."

Castaway stranded on a desert island with only one coconut palm for survival finds a box of coconuts

"I'm sorry, but I believe I'm now way out of your network."

'Okay, this time I've added - "How do you rate this message?" with one to five stars.'

'No need for that. I owe taxes, they'll find us!'

Castaway swims to desert island and reads sign; 'No Trespassing'.

'This can't be right -- it says George Bush is still President!'

'Want to bet they're more VHS tapes when we've got a Beta System?'

desert island. Referee tosses coin for football game with no players

'You had enough power in our cell phone to make one last call, and instead of getting us rescued, you cancel your tee-time?'

'But the coconut song is all I know!'

'The Gawlaks have two palm trees!'

Oh great. They're all females and my equipment only uses males.

Golfing across the islands.

"We've only been stranded on this island for 6 months. I don't think it is technically considered an emergency yet."