Stove Top Jester Gifts

Beard helper

"We're following Carrot Top."

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

"No, you definitely wouldn't get Christmas Eve off."

"OK, now another guy found a feather in his soup! One of you is molting, and I need to know who!"

Husband bakes a pie

Stepping on clown's shoe...

"Gigot de sept heures."

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

'Avoid the Christmas rush, drink now.

Jesus plays peek-a-boo with doubting Thomas.

You make me feel more like a veterinarian than a psychiatrist, Al. Why is that, Dr. Kapuchnik? Because you're one sick puppy.

"We all go a bit crackers over Christmas, just try to pull yourself together."

'Hey, 'Houdini', after you figure out how to levitate the cork ou tof the bottle, I can use your magic at the kitchen sink.'

"More helium."

Ski kicker.

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

'I had the recipe upside down, so it's beefed corn.'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

'The recipe said to simmer uncovered!'

'I can't work with computers, on account of my animal magnetism.'

Travelling jesters. No fools left aboard overnight.

'Make sport of the Queen.'

'You're not supposed to use fabric softener on ARMOR!'

All you can eat chicken $3.95: "Cooked is 20 dollars extra."

'I'm looking for someone who can make me laugh.'

A man flips a pancake onto a child's head

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

"Which one of my fiendish offspring defaced the bordelaise recipe with SpongeBob?"

'That was SO worth it!' - Christmas Tree Toppled

Dec. 26

'Ringing in your ears, you say?'