Stove Top Jester Pillows

Beard helper

"We're following Carrot Top."

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

"No, you definitely wouldn't get Christmas Eve off."

"OK, now another guy found a feather in his soup! One of you is molting, and I need to know who!"

Husband bakes a pie

Stepping on clown's shoe...

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

"Gigot de sept heures."

Jesus plays peek-a-boo with doubting Thomas.

'Avoid the Christmas rush, drink now.

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

"We all go a bit crackers over Christmas, just try to pull yourself together."

Ski kicker.

'I had the recipe upside down, so it's beefed corn.'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"More helium."

'Hey, 'Houdini', after you figure out how to levitate the cork ou tof the bottle, I can use your magic at the kitchen sink.'

'I can't work with computers, on account of my animal magnetism.'

Travelling jesters. No fools left aboard overnight.

"Which one of my fiendish offspring defaced the bordelaise recipe with SpongeBob?"

A man flips a pancake onto a child's head

'I'm looking for someone who can make me laugh.'

All you can eat chicken $3.95: "Cooked is 20 dollars extra."

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

'You're not supposed to use fabric softener on ARMOR!'

'Make sport of the Queen.'

'That was SO worth it!' - Christmas Tree Toppled

Dec. 26

'Ringing in your ears, you say?'

'Your tomato ketchup is on it's way, Sir...'