Kitchen Jester Gifts

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

'The recipe said to simmer uncovered!'

'I never see the dog complain about my cooking.'

Two chefs playing foosball using rotisserie chickens.

"I'm the chef." "I'm the Health Inspector."

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

Husband bakes a pie

'I've done the washing up - Do we have any glue?'

'We're having salad are we? I couldn't smell anything burning.'

'I had the recipe upside down, so it's beefed corn.'

'She's just seeing if the alphabetti spaghetti's ready.'

'I suspected he was in a bad way when he suddenly stopped complaining about my cooking.'

'Freezer is on the blink.'

Spaghetti Mummy

Grim reaper calls on egg.

Your dinner is in the supermarket...

A man flips a pancake onto a child's head

"That's your solution for everything isn't it, Max? More pepper."

Cat's cradle

'Don't give me that 'hairball' excuse again. Just admit it - you don't like my cooking!'

The convenience of self-basting chickens.

I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.

"I'm not saying it's undercooked, dear, but I've seen fish hurt worse than this jump off the hook."

As a child, he was known as Judas Asparagus

Portrait of an easy-to-please husband.

"This one is designed for those morning types that like to pop out of bed."

Help!

"No wonder they didn't like it. I forgot to sprinkle the antidepressant on it."

Ernie's the person who put the "quiz" in cuisine.

Ernie, let's clean out the refrigerator. But don't throw this away. I hid my valuable, early-issue coin here. The proof is in the pudding! Help me with the produce drawer. A plum assignment! It looks like these tomatoes have been here for years! They're from my youth, my salad days! Please stop these wisecracks - you've gone too far! I disagree! I can still milk it some more!

"More helium."

"Which one of my fiendish offspring defaced the bordelaise recipe with SpongeBob?"

"Gigot de sept heures."

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

"It's how he would have wanted to go."