Storytime Giants Gifts

Giant to librarian: 'Excuse me, do you have a large print version?'

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

Little Princess.

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"Mommy usually reads me a story, then slips me a twenty."

'A is for Arse.'

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

'The cow jumped over the Moon? -- What was SHE on?'

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

'Don't worry, he'll soon grow into it.'

"Read me one more, Daddy!"

'Read me 'Br'er Rabbit again and this time leave out the southern accent.'

"And thirteen innocent logs perished in that fire they used to burn Joan."

Sleepy Bunny

"Again? I read you your Miranda rights last night."

"We call it 'learning to read', not 'battling illiteracy'."

Caveman Shadow Puppetry Of Pre-Historic Animals