Storytelling Skeptic Gifts

'....happily ever after...AFTER what?'

'The prince and the princess were deeply in love...they were married and they lived happily ever after...for about two months.'

"I don't like hearing happy stories."

Don't you hate these After-Donor speakers?

"You will let me know if I'm boring you with my little stories, won't you dear?"

"It's actually called 'snow white, the seven dwarfs and the damned biting watchdog.' But of course they don't tell us about that ."

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

"On New Year's Eve, Clement and I stayed up all night drinking. Tea, of course."

"Well did he?"

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

'This goes way beyond just keeping the flies off me...I'm fighting crime now too!'

Kirsten Johnson

Three little pigs-mortgage.

'Like it? I LOVED it! The narrative gripped me from the first sentence and didn't let go until the final, heart-stopping page! And the CHARACTERS! Without question, Harris, this is the finest year-end financial report you've ever written!'

Little boy reading a classic whilst his Dad reads a comic.

'What do you mean 'theoretically'? Everything we do is theoretical.'

'Mummy, the review of this book was more interesting.'

Reading

Baby Bear.

"Its my letter of resignation. I also turned it into a memoir."

The little engine that delegated

"Are you sure that's not a typo? -- Maybe the cow jumped over the moor."

Mephistopheles

Gag - a graphic novel

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

Young Stephen King

'Yeah. Yeah... Wolf, girl, grandma. I got the picture.'

"Dear Mom and Dad: Thanks for the happy childhood. You've destroyed any chance I had of becoming a writer."

Ted knew he had a bestseller. Now all he had to do was fill the middle bits in.

Purple Fairy

'Your imagination was so powerful he became real. It happens to me all the time.'

My Prince.

'Of course, it's your business, but I wouldn't ever start a resume with 'Once upon a time in a land far far away!''

"She then bit into the poison apple, hoping it would fend off the hostile takeover."