Storytime Skeptics Gifts

'Must you end every bedtiime story with 'and then they were blown up by terrorists'?!'

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

Little Princess.

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

"Mommy usually reads me a story, then slips me a twenty."

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

'The cow jumped over the Moon? -- What was SHE on?'

'Mummy, the review of this book was more interesting.'

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

"What you find 'boring' spies from all over the world would find extremely interesting."

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

'Don't worry, he'll soon grow into it.'

"Here’s a book with a pretty peacock on the cover. Let’s try this Flannery O’Connor story before bed."

'Read me 'Br'er Rabbit again and this time leave out the southern accent.'

"We call it 'learning to read', not 'battling illiteracy'."

"The prince, …. what's his back story?"

Caveman Shadow Puppetry Of Pre-Historic Animals

"Again? I read you your Miranda rights last night."

Sleepy Bunny

"And thirteen innocent logs perished in that fire they used to burn Joan."

'...and then I married the handsome farmer and the two hundred head of dairy cattle.'