Storytime Revolutionaries Gifts

'Why is it that there are so many bedtime stories about stupid princes and princesses, but no cool ones about zombies and chainsaws?'

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

Little Princess.

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

"Mommy usually reads me a story, then slips me a twenty."

'A is for Arse.'

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

"Fellow graduates, when I look at you, I see future princesses, ninjas, wizards, superheroes, and zombies."

'Mummy, the review of this book was more interesting.'

'The cow jumped over the Moon? -- What was SHE on?'

Alice Through the Looking Glass - 'Tickets Please!'

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

'Don't worry, he'll soon grow into it.'

'Read me 'Br'er Rabbit again and this time leave out the southern accent.'

Caveman Shadow Puppetry Of Pre-Historic Animals

"We call it 'learning to read', not 'battling illiteracy'."

"The prince, …. what's his back story?"

Sleepy Bunny

"And thirteen innocent logs perished in that fire they used to burn Joan."

"Again? I read you your Miranda rights last night."