Storytime Critic Gifts

Fairy narratives

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

Church Library - Pop-Up Books

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

Little Princess.

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

"Go figure: nobody wanted to kiss me when I was an ugly prince, but now, somehow, pretty girls are lining up!"

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

"And next up, Fairy Tales: FolkLORE or FolkLIES!"

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

'I wonder how Curious George fits into all this?'

'Come on, girl! I know you can do it! Jump over the moon!'

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

Bedtime in Ancient Greece

"What you find 'boring' spies from all over the world would find extremely interesting."

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

'The cow jumped over the Moon? -- What was SHE on?'

'Mummy, the review of this book was more interesting.'

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."