Storytime Critic Mugs

Fairy narratives

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

The Poky Little Pupa.

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

Church Library - Pop-Up Books

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

Little Princess.

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

"Go figure: nobody wanted to kiss me when I was an ugly prince, but now, somehow, pretty girls are lining up!"

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

'I wonder how Curious George fits into all this?'

'We're out of water, Jack. Time to go back up the hill to fetch a pail.'

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

'Come on, girl! I know you can do it! Jump over the moon!'

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

"And next up, Fairy Tales: FolkLORE or FolkLIES!"

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

'The cow jumped over the Moon? -- What was SHE on?'

I don't want a story that helps kids make sense of the world – I want a world that lets kids just enjoy a nonsense story.

"Well, I assume the three bears went in the woods like all bears do. May I continue?"

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

"What you find 'boring' spies from all over the world would find extremely interesting."

Bedtime in Ancient Greece

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'