Storytelling Critic Mugs

"Did you research and verify before posting this?"

"I didn't think much of the plot, but I like the product placement."

"Sure, it's a little formulaic but I love it"

"Are you sure that's not a typo? -- Maybe the cow jumped over the moor."

'It's a load of something, alright.'

BIBLE STORIES, 'This is full of battle and other BOY stuff - not a single romantic comedy!'

Mitt Romney's family tales.

"Bond James, Bond."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Benedict Cumberbatch

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

Herman Mankiewicz

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

"Now Playing: One of those Jane Austen movies."

'This should be perfect. The main characters fall in love during a series of explosions.'

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

Men: Hating chick flicks since 1623.

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

Censors 'no' a good thing when they see it.

No, this is the red lagoon, the black one is down the road a bit.

Grimm's Reality Tales.

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

'It was great. I hated it.'

"You had the power to leave all along - just click your heels three times, grab your coat, and sneak out without saying goodbye."

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

"Spoiler alert! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about 'Wolverine.'" "You don't have to say 'spoiler alert,' minion. It's been a month." "Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive." "In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences." "Um... never mind."

The Da Vinci Cod

'Hey, Charlie, have we got good news for you!'

The Beard in the Stone