Storyline Skeptic Gifts

"I'm not so ready for interactive television."

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

'Sue didn't watch soap operas all the time. She also reads books'

"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"

"Well did he?"

'Mummy, the review of this book was more interesting.'

'Typical man...too stubborn to stop and ask for directions.'

'Yeah. Yeah... Wolf, girl, grandma. I got the picture.'

'....happily ever after...AFTER what?'

"It's actually called 'snow white, the seven dwarfs and the damned biting watchdog.' But of course they don't tell us about that ."

"And they lived happily ever-after? Well, maybe you should find out who their financial advisor is."

"Social service teams are claiming that they can't recruit workers because of the vicious, biased reports we write about them!"

'Where are all these people who lived happily ever after?'

"When I die, I want to come back at anything except a book of short stories."

'And do you, Cathie, promise to advance Ed's narrative?'

'This is where it gets tricky. I see 3 alternate endings and a director's cut.'

"Enough with the hard-luck stories about spanking and cursive and appointment television, Dad."

Fairy narratives

"You will let me know if I'm boring you with my little stories, won't you dear?"

"Is there no escape from escapism?"

Man reading a giant book.

'HOLD ON! You're telling me that out of the whole population, in an entire kingdom, this glass slipper fitted just ONE person?!'

'I know when I'm being worked in during a commercial.'

"Well, you call them fairy tales, I call them fake news."

"Sorry mum, but you lost me after 'Once Upon a Time.'"

"Forget the glass slipper thing. I've just installed the Tinderella app."

'That 'Jonah' story sounded FISHY to me!'

"You can tell you've been promoted over your level of competence when you stop wondering if you've been promoted over your level of competence."

Man cold medicine.

"Science fiction? Boring! It's always about gravity and blue skies and two-legged aliens. I prefer non-fiction."

"It's a sort of 'popular-attractive-kid-from-well-to-do-stable-family-succeeds-against-all-odds' story."