Storybook Sweetheart Gifts

Dating in Oz

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Late night teddy reading

Papageno from The Magic Flute

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Bookworm Sleepover

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

Need a Qualified Adult for Pooh Sticks

Beware of the crafty Kia bird of New Zealand.

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

"Ever since you changed from a frog to a Prince you seem a little jumpy!"

Little Princess.

"Where the wild things were."

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

"We could have been here sooner, but we wanted to wait until the beautiful Yellow Brick Road was built."

"The doctor will be with you two in a second. As for you, I'd recommend a motivational speaker."

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"

'I have a feeling we are not in Kansas anymore.'

“If I start pressing these, I’ll never ever ever get out of here.”

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

Treasure Island Book.

'A coach would be nice. But vegetable will get me a BMW?'

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

Sleeping Beauty

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."

Cupid

Litterary Dogs.

Cinderella and Charming the Clown

'It'll never work. I'm reading 'Of Mice And men' and you haven't even gotten through 'If You Give A Mouse A Cookie,.'

'He said he won't give me a new heart unless I change my lifestyle.'