Storybook Sweetheart Gifts

Dating in Oz

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Late night teddy reading

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Papageno from The Magic Flute

Bookworm Sleepover

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

Need a Qualified Adult for Pooh Sticks

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

Beware of the crafty Kia bird of New Zealand.

"Where the wild things were."

"Ever since you changed from a frog to a Prince you seem a little jumpy!"

Little Princess.

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

Treasure Island Book.

"The doctor will be with you two in a second. As for you, I'd recommend a motivational speaker."

“If I start pressing these, I’ll never ever ever get out of here.”

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."

Litterary Dogs.

Cinderella and Charming the Clown

Cupid

Sleeping Beauty

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

'He said he won't give me a new heart unless I change my lifestyle.'

'Then Jack told his mother they were getting out of the dairy business and going into crop production.'