Storybook Wanderer Gifts

"Can't we just go after sailfish...?"

"Remember, in the other version they had a pea-green boat, and here they're using public transportation."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Late night teddy reading

Bookworm Sleepover

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Papageno from The Magic Flute

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

Need a Qualified Adult for Pooh Sticks

Beware of the crafty Kia bird of New Zealand.

Little Princess.

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

"Where the wild things were."

"One side is for depression, the other is for anxiety, and if you're still confused make an appointment with the cat."

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

"Ever since you changed from a frog to a Prince you seem a little jumpy!"

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

Alice in Wonderland-Hare and Hatter putting Dormouse in Teapot

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

“If I start pressing these, I’ll never ever ever get out of here.”

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"

Treasure Island Book.

"The doctor will be with you two in a second. As for you, I'd recommend a motivational speaker."

'Of course it's safe. It has no preservatives, no additives, no artificial coloring...'

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

Cupid

Dorothy and Toto

Sleeping Beauty