Storybook Devotee Gifts

"I know she's asleep, but I just got to the good part of the story!"

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Late night teddy reading

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

Papageno from The Magic Flute

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

The Poky Little Pupa.

Baby Einstein. Baby Frankenstein.

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

Beware of the crafty Kia bird of New Zealand.

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

"Where the wild things were."

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

"Ever since you changed from a frog to a Prince you seem a little jumpy!"

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

'I have a feeling we are not in Kansas anymore.'

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"

"It's a cow thing. You wouldn't understand."

"The doctor will be with you two in a second. As for you, I'd recommend a motivational speaker."

'A coach would be nice. But vegetable will get me a BMW?'

Wicca Heritage Centre: Hansel and Gretel stayed here.

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

Fairy Library - Cinderella Marries the Prince

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

Cupid

Sleeping Beauty

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."