Storybook Aficionados Gifts

Mr. Flintwinch recieves the embrace of friendship

"If this isn't Peter Pan... You've gotten fat, loverboy! You owe your Wendy 60 years of alimony payments and a new roof."

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Late night teddy reading

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

Papageno from The Magic Flute

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

"Ever since you changed from a frog to a Prince you seem a little jumpy!"

Beware of the crafty Kia bird of New Zealand.

"Where the wild things were."

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"Only one pailful? Did they have water restrictions like we do?"

"The doctor will be with you two in a second. As for you, I'd recommend a motivational speaker."

"It's a cow thing. You wouldn't understand."

'Okay, time to sleep now. Switch off your nose, Rudolph'!

Wicca Heritage Centre: Hansel and Gretel stayed here.

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

Sleeping Beauty

Cupid

Fairy Library - Cinderella Marries the Prince

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”