Storybook Fanatic Gifts

'Mirror mirror on the,,,'

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

Arabian Nights - Alnaschar and the Basket of Glass

'Same comments every year,,,why do we even enter'

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Late night teddy reading

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

Papageno from The Magic Flute

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

Beware of the crafty Kia bird of New Zealand.

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

"Where the wild things were."

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

"Ever since you changed from a frog to a Prince you seem a little jumpy!"

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"The doctor will be with you two in a second. As for you, I'd recommend a motivational speaker."

'He was a handsome young prince when I married him.'

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

"It's a cow thing. You wouldn't understand."

"Like that?"

'Okay, time to sleep now. Switch off your nose, Rudolph'!

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

Wicca Heritage Centre: Hansel and Gretel stayed here.

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."