Storybook Fan Gifts

"'Marry me,' said the prince. 'Oh, yes,' said the princess. All through the kingdom the people rejoiced. Stocks rallied. It would be good for the economy."

Alice in Wonderland - The Mad Hatter.

"A heart would be great, sure, but what I'd really like is a working human penis."

'I didn't actually jump over the moon...I tripped over a rock...that's really why the little dog laughed!'

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

'The results won't be permanent unless you promise to stop fibbing.'

Dinner Mates.

"Boss, can you check the address again? I have a bad feeling about this one."

'Don't worry Sire. Look, she left her glass slipper behind.'

'Is that you pumpkin ? '

Prince trying to climb to Rapunzel. Has a wig in his hands.

Sign outside tortoise shell: 'Out to lunch'.

'I see London, I see France, I see your big distended scald-red ass.'

Arabian Nights.

'Don't tell me! You're a Leo, right?'

Rapunzel being thrown dandruff shampoo.

Three Little Pigs in a Cyclone

'Your tuffet or mine?'

Beware of the crafty Kia bird of New Zealand.

Inside the Whale.

Santa's on his way!

'Not 'Puss'n'boots' again!'

'I've got a better idea dad, let's eat the apple break the arrows and go home.'

'Look Mum: I'm Platypus in Boots!'

'Yes, the re-introduction to the wild has been a great success.'

Hare using a TV to motivate the Tortoise.

Turandot

"Again? How many times are the three bears going to post photos of their porridge?"

"When the spoon ran away with the dish, it broke my heart!"

"The contractor that built this house used to be a shoemaker."

"Should have used more preservatives."

"He gets that from his father's side of the family."

Fairy Library - Tom Puss Talks to Reapers, Ahead of King's Carriage

"Better idea! Let's obstruct traffic in the guy's neighborhood and make his morning commute difficult!"

"I don’t know why it’s a story about three little pigs – it just is."