Storybook Traveler Gifts

'He said he won't give me a new heart unless I change my lifestyle.'

Sun and the Moon step out.

Three Bears Bed and Breakfast. Rated Four Stars by Goldilocks.

Troll Crossing

Handbook

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Late night teddy reading

Papageno from The Magic Flute

Bookworm Sleepover

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

The Poky Little Pupa.

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

Need a Qualified Adult for Pooh Sticks

Baby Einstein. Baby Frankenstein.

"One side is for depression, the other is for anxiety, and if you're still confused make an appointment with the cat."

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

Beware of the crafty Kia bird of New Zealand.

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

"Ever since you changed from a frog to a Prince you seem a little jumpy!"

Little Princess.

"Where the wild things were."

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"We could have been here sooner, but we wanted to wait until the beautiful Yellow Brick Road was built."

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"The doctor will be with you two in a second. As for you, I'd recommend a motivational speaker."

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"