Storybook Squirmer Gifts

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Late night teddy reading

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Bookworm Sleepover

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

Need a Qualified Adult for Pooh Sticks

"Where the wild things were."

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

"Ever since you changed from a frog to a Prince you seem a little jumpy!"

Little Princess.

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"

“If I start pressing these, I’ll never ever ever get out of here.”

Computer games

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

Treasure Island Book.

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

Cinderella and Charming the Clown

Litterary Dogs.

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."

Sleeping Beauty

'He said he won't give me a new heart unless I change my lifestyle.'

'Then Jack told his mother they were getting out of the dairy business and going into crop production.'

"Sorry kids, wrong house. This one is made of vegetables."

'Sorry I'm late - I was stacked up at the airport.'

Alice in Wonderland: Alice and the Dodo.

Grimm's Fairytales - Title Page