Storybook Squirmer T-Shirts

"Really, there was no need to regurgitate the whole thing."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Late night teddy reading

Bookworm Sleepover

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

Need a Qualified Adult for Pooh Sticks

Little Princess.

"Where the wild things were."

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

"Ever since you changed from a frog to a Prince you seem a little jumpy!"

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

'I have a feeling we are not in Kansas anymore.'

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

"We could have been here sooner, but we wanted to wait until the beautiful Yellow Brick Road was built."

Computer games

Treasure Island Book.

“If I start pressing these, I’ll never ever ever get out of here.”

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

Cinderella and Charming the Clown

Litterary Dogs.

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."

'It'll never work. I'm reading 'Of Mice And men' and you haven't even gotten through 'If You Give A Mouse A Cookie,.'

Sleeping Beauty

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

'He said he won't give me a new heart unless I change my lifestyle.'

'Then Jack told his mother they were getting out of the dairy business and going into crop production.'

'Sorry I'm late - I was stacked up at the airport.'

Alice in Wonderland: Alice and the Dodo.

"The mad king ruled by chaos and corruption. He pitted everyone against each other, and they all lived divisively ever after. The end."

"Sorry kids, wrong house. This one is made of vegetables."