Story Squirmer T-Shirts

"Isn't Gracie getting a little old for bedtime stories?"

ET Mishap

Computer games

"You have issues? Be more specific, what issues?"

'... Of course it's expensive. It doesn't grow on trees you know!'

Rip Van Winkle, "He's survived the operation, now he's sleeping peacefully."

"I wonder what he dreams about...Squirrels I bet."

The definitive turning point in The Great Terrier-Squirrel War was the now-famous Trojan Acorn Maneuver.

Rapunzel's hair comes down to suitor as a braided ladder.

Squirrel chopping wooden leg of lumberjack.

Will Self deprecation

'Have a couple of dreams, and call me in the morning.'

"Well, he's a squirrel, so yes, he's a hoarder, but that does not help come Winter: he hoards books, not nuts!"

"The bailouts are nice but my retirement remains finding drugs that washed up on the beach."

DOG PARK - 'I can't believe they allow squirrels in here!'

"I hear the food's good. But try to get a table."

"Pardon me, Karen. Would you be filling the bird feeder soon? Asking for a friend..."

'Of course I'm confused, I keep dreaming I'm an insomniac.'

'I have a case of...oh, heck. What's that called?'

'I'm sorry, but I think you should find a new analyst... your dreams are just too boring for me.'

'They want full access to the feeders or they're going to show us their own version of Alfred Hitchcock's 'The Birds.''

Cheshire cat meets Cheshire dog

'Dammit, Bubbles, we need this memoir yesterday - write, damn you!'

"Why is that moron screaming so loud at something that isn't there?"

"Really, there was no need to regurgitate the whole thing."

"It took me 4 years to finish my book!"

"Just watch. This row monitor job is just the first step on my road to the white house!"

'Aborting mission! Primary invasion force captured and enslaved!'

"... and then I wake up really thirsty and pour low-fat milk on my husband."

"Instead of chasing them like a madman, just ask the squirrels if they’d like to play with you."

Fearless Frog Part 14

Scissors cutting on the dotted line

Book Burp

"Can't afford your analyst? I'll listen to you for peanuts!"

'This book changed my life. I stole it.'