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"You have issues? Be more specific, what issues?"

Love at First Sight

Out To Lurch

Chiller Theatre

Halloween may be a little different this year.

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

Ghost School.

Woodpecker carving pumpkins

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

"There it was again...SOOIE! And then she realized the pig call was coming from inside the house!"

"I'm spooked - they don't want candy, they want ice water!"

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

"Son, you can't get blood from a turnip!"

"Had more ghost-hunters 'round my place last night....scared the daylights outta me!"

"You're ruining our reputation, Bob!"

'Hey, what am I, chopped liver?'

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

Ghost puddle

"Its been on the market for over two years. The estate agent reckons it's something to do with negative edibility!"

Tim Burton

Halloween Support Group

'I don't know who you are stranger, but if you mess with big Gus you'll be in your coffin by dawn!'

'There's an imposter among us!'

How was the Halloween party? Who was there? It was fun, except the Zombie didn't talk to anybody. The Grim Reaper was a real killjoy, and the jack-o-lantern made a fool of himself -- by the end of the evening he was smashed. Did the Black Cat or the Ghost attend? I crossed paths with a black cat but I don't know if the Ghost came to the party. All night it felt like he was right there but I never actually saw him!

'I hate waking up with coffin hair.'

'Seriously Vicar, I do not think you have seen this guy in the morning service!'

Ghost frightens the photo booth.

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

Frankenstein's Ancestry

"For drinks or dinner?"

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

"It's the great pumpkin's psychotic uncle Mitch, Charlie Brown."

"I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's undead."

"The Ruin is under new management. Specters will manage wraiths, shades and spirits. All others report to be spook resources. Bonuses will be based on team work and synergy."