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"You're ruining our reputation, Bob!"

"Baldo. My name is El Muerto. I have a message for you...from the afterlife."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

'How fast can you hype?'

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

The Fourth Little Pig

The writer: something who devotes a lifetime of solitude to the same of communication.

"If I can't ask for more wishes, how about more genies?"

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

You do know it's Harry Potter who's real and JK Rowling is just one of his spells?

'This has all the makings of a fable. But first lets take lots of tests.'

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

Iris Murdoch

So I guess the moral of Hansel and Gretel is always carry your cell phone!

' 'Cat in the Window'...chapter 14...'

I figured out how we can pay for the kids' college tuitions. Do tell. I'm going to leave for a year of self-discovery, which I will chronicle in a best-selling memoir. Oh, but

When Shakespeare gets up early, on the wrong side of the bed of a stranger, and in a clown suit... Later that same day, he will commence work on 'The Comedy of Errors.'"

Günter Grass

Always a bigger fish.

Wolf to Red Riding Hood: 'No thanks, I'm on a strict grandmother diet.'

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

Isabel Allende

'This is your spinal column...It's a bunch of bones that runs up and down your back and keeps your legs from going all the way up to your neck.'

"I'm waiting for my imagination to run riot."

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

'See how the fools flee when fantasy role-play is fantasy no longer!'

"So, in conclusion, I would like to say that although I haven't actually read the book, I still found it a fascinating and enriching experience.

"I'm not sheltering at home, I'm an artist in residence!"

Noel Coward.

Best Seller

Fish or Cut Bait

Storm in a magic lamp.

'Once upon a time there was a really lousy editor name Sue. Sue was lazy and stupid, so she was fired, and her boss lived happily ever after. The end.'

"He's writing a novel for the first time in decades. It has less to do with the urge to create or say something new, and more to do with the fact that all his previous books are now out of print."