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"Yes, but what I really want to do is write children's books."

Alice in Badassland

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"Chapter One: Call me Scooter..."

Publisher to writer: 'It was a great read, except I collided with run-on sentences, tripped over broken English and got knocked about by a dangling participle.'

'You're on our turf, this is poet's corner.' 'It may be your corner, friend, but it's on writers block.'

'Can you redo this manuscript, John, and make it less stupid?'

'Jack, these aren't just ordinary magic beans...they're 'organic' magic beans.'

'Remember Jones! It's not exaggeration if you believe it!'

Influences.

Non-Fiction/Fiction.

'Forget about 'who,what,when,where,why,how'...Instead 'Will it sell papers...attract advertisers?'

Hardy gets writers block...

"Fit the reality to our statistics!"

"I'm waiting for my imagination to run riot."

"Gossip by Steve in Accounting - An Alluring new scent you'll want to resist...but can't. Because you have nothing else going on."

'Oooh, man... I meant to express that as an interior monologue!' ~ Fred, left to his own literary devices.

Author discusses her next sensation novel

'I don't like her line of gossip - it's never about anyone I know.'

"It's a stream of consciousness novel like 'Ulysses' I just sort of sat down and wrote it without even thinking of a plot have you had drink I', going to get a seat where do you come from it's hot in here I like blue do you like blue..."

"It's a nice story, Mr. Fergus, but why do you always write in the passive voice?" "I suppose because I've been a taxpayer all my life."

'Cat on a Hot Tin Streetcar' and 'A roof named Desire' I love 'em Mr. Williams but we'll have to re look at those titles!'

"Help! I've fallen into obscurity and I can't get up!"

Nancy had written more pages, but Andrew had stacked his more neatly.

'This has all the makings of a fable. But first lets take lots of tests.'

After months of writer's block, the great man's biographer finally decides how to end the book.

Sometimes a Good Excuse to Get off the Telephone is Hard to Find

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

'Stop staring at me!!!'

There's less here than meets the eye.

In a rage of jealousy, Cinderella's sisters turn ugly.

'That's about it - I've already told you twice as much as she told me...'

'The Secret is to write what you know.'

'Memoirs my arse!...It's all lies and you know it!'

Busy woman