Storybook Farmer Gifts

"Robert has volunteered to try a bite of brocco flower. If after five minutes he's ok, we go for it."

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Late night teddy reading

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Papageno from The Magic Flute

Bookworm Sleepover

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

Need a Qualified Adult for Pooh Sticks

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

Beware of the crafty Kia bird of New Zealand.

"Where the wild things were."

"Ever since you changed from a frog to a Prince you seem a little jumpy!"

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

'I have a feeling we are not in Kansas anymore.'

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"

"The doctor will be with you two in a second. As for you, I'd recommend a motivational speaker."

Treasure Island Book.

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"We could have been here sooner, but we wanted to wait until the beautiful Yellow Brick Road was built."

'A coach would be nice. But vegetable will get me a BMW?'

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

Sleeping Beauty

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."

'It'll never work. I'm reading 'Of Mice And men' and you haven't even gotten through 'If You Give A Mouse A Cookie,.'

"I always knew you'd come back."

Cinderella and Charming the Clown

'He said he won't give me a new heart unless I change my lifestyle.'

'I think he's got a bad case of Bluetooth Disease.'

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

"Sorry kids, wrong house. This one is made of vegetables."

Grimm's Fairytales - Title Page

Alice in Wonderland: Alice and the Dodo.

Bonita shows up late for the girls' Thursday night 'Jam Session'.