Storybook Farmer T-Shirts

"Robert has volunteered to try a bite of brocco flower. If after five minutes he's ok, we go for it."

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Late night teddy reading

Bookworm Sleepover

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Papageno from The Magic Flute

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

Need a Qualified Adult for Pooh Sticks

"Ever since you changed from a frog to a Prince you seem a little jumpy!"

Beware of the crafty Kia bird of New Zealand.

"Where the wild things were."

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"The doctor will be with you two in a second. As for you, I'd recommend a motivational speaker."

Treasure Island Book.

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

Cinderella and Charming the Clown

Sleeping Beauty

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."

"I always knew you'd come back."

'He said he won't give me a new heart unless I change my lifestyle.'

'I think he's got a bad case of Bluetooth Disease.'

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

"Sorry kids, wrong house. This one is made of vegetables."

Grimm's Fairytales - Title Page

Alice in Wonderland: Alice and the Dodo.

Bonita shows up late for the girls' Thursday night 'Jam Session'.

Child buys 'Dracula doll': Keep in box until sunset.