Comedic Farmer T-Shirts

'Calm down. I heard them say we're just going into town for haircuts.'

Right, just off to the east field to muck spread!

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

A sure sign of rain

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'Oh Hi!'

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

Planting by the Moon.

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

"Static cling."

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

'How are you at thinking outside the flocks?'

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

"That was definitely mine."

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

'The guy in the scarecrow shop promised me that nothing scares crows better than the 'Giant Fox XR50'.'

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

'Hey Sally, do these new capris make me look pretentious?'

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'

The Mongolian Steps Slinky Cows.

Vaccinating Scarecrow

'Nonsense! They can't All have headaches.'

A Tongue Stud.

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

"I call it 'Moona Lisa'."

"Ok, let's try it one last time. It's 'Ahhhhhh'..."

Testing...testing...one, two, three...

'This is your third speeding ticket in a week. Sure your horse didn't get into some genetically modified hay?'