Whimsical Farmer Gifts

'I don't give Zombie Apocalypses out to anybody as gifts I'm afraid.'

"Sorry, but she says she's not interested. She just wants to play the field."

Vaccinating Scarecrow

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

A sure sign of rain

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'Oh Hi!'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

"Static cling."

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

''Now we're the only yard in the block with a blue apple tree!'

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

The Phantom Of The Garden

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

'Ah, now's there's something different....'

'How are you at thinking outside the flocks?'

Woman throwing giant pot.

"That was definitely mine."

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

'The guy in the scarecrow shop promised me that nothing scares crows better than the 'Giant Fox XR50'.'

'The guy who made me is a fan of Magritte.'

'Ok, this sty is great and all, but can we get some huge explosions? Wilbur, could you say 'it's about to get real'?'

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

Shocking cows and chickens with the ingredients of the cake.

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'

"I call it 'Moona Lisa'."

A Tongue Stud.

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

"Ok, let's try it one last time. It's 'Ahhhhhh'..."

'This is your third speeding ticket in a week. Sure your horse didn't get into some genetically modified hay?'