Whimsical Farmer Gifts

'I don't give Zombie Apocalypses out to anybody as gifts I'm afraid.'

"Sorry, but she says she's not interested. She just wants to play the field."

Vaccinating Scarecrow

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

A sure sign of rain

'Oh Hi!'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

"Static cling."

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

''Now we're the only yard in the block with a blue apple tree!'

The Phantom Of The Garden

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

'Ah, now's there's something different....'

'How are you at thinking outside the flocks?'

Woman throwing giant pot.

"That was definitely mine."

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

'The guy in the scarecrow shop promised me that nothing scares crows better than the 'Giant Fox XR50'.'

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

'The guy who made me is a fan of Magritte.'

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

"I call it 'Moona Lisa'."

A Tongue Stud.

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'

"Ok, let's try it one last time. It's 'Ahhhhhh'..."

Testing...testing...one, two, three...

'This is your third speeding ticket in a week. Sure your horse didn't get into some genetically modified hay?'

"Gnomeschooling is harder than I thought!"