Mystical Farm Humor Gifts

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

'Wake up, dear...did you order extra milk?!'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

A sure sign of rain

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

Milking the Cow.

"We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way ..."

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

"Static cling."

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

"I'm an enigma!"

'How are you at thinking outside the flocks?'

"And I put it to you Mr. MacDonald, that on the morning of December 3rd, you had cold hands whilst attaching a milking machine to my client's udder!"

"That was definitely mine."

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

'Watch out, Dewey! Cow pie!'

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

'Ok, this sty is great and all, but can we get some huge explosions? Wilbur, could you say 'it's about to get real'?'

'Wool ewe pullover yourself together.'

Shocking cows and chickens with the ingredients of the cake.

Farmyard Sinatra - "Start spreadin'...Manure

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

"All good: This egg looks healthy as well..."

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'

"I call it 'Moona Lisa'."

"Start talking."

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

"Ok, let's try it one last time. It's 'Ahhhhhh'..."

'This is your third speeding ticket in a week. Sure your horse didn't get into some genetically modified hay?'

'The cow mooed, the pig oinked, the chicken clucked, I baaed and then we adjourned.'