Storm Sage Gifts

"It seems like all we talk about anymore is the weather."

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

"For the last time, I’m not Bigfoot — I’m Larry from Vermont!"

Welcome Association of Stage Builders.

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

Music producers.

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

Running shoes? You have the wrong idea about "fasting," Brother Ernest!

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

"Is there a dramaturge in the house?"

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

The chairman's boat springs a leak: 'Just keep bailing and never mind the wisecracks.'

The chip - Loyal worker, tireless teacher, friend

"Don't worry Sir, you're not the first person to ask for a refund and you probably won't be the last!"

"Read me back the minutes from the last dip."

"The Great Source keeps afloat, along with a little help from the sharks there."

'So then I thought, what's the idea job for a gentleman with my years of experience, wisdom and a desire to help others.'

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

"The best advice I can give you is: 'Be Yourself.'"

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

'Found it ... Good heavens! It's the size of a soccer ball!..'

Wang Yangming takes a scroll of knowledge from a crane.

"I hope it's not contagious."

'That's not whitewash....that's detergent!'

"A million monkeys typing for a million years might come up with Hamlet, but they could never direct it."

"It needs more old salt."

The Senior Citizen Surfer

'Playing out of tune doesn't make it a remix!'

"If you don't want to know the score..."

Jesus Saves

"The real money is in franchising."

A repairman has a small box marked 'Useful Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Screws.'

"Great waves to day, dude!"